Searching for Love in All the Wrong Places
True love exists, but it's to people as finding a little needle in hay stack to the one who's lost it. Once you think you find it, you can be stung by the needle involuntarily (you're looking in a hay stack, right? So it might as well, sting your finger while searching for it, accidentally).
Maybe you're wondering why, I really like to write about love. The answer is simple. Love is the air that we breathe. Without love, your succesful life would mean nothing. Everything is nothing. Your chosen life. Your chosen job. Your chosen career. Your chosen family. Your chosen big fucking television, your chosen washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers... your chosen DIY and the fact that you still wonder who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on the couch, watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.
I came all the way across Renton's legendary phrases, sorry. But I think he got it right except the last part. I mean the last part that says :
"I chose not to choose life. I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?"
So often you say that to yourself, well, replace the word "heroin" with "love", though (Afterall love is heroin - whoever has been addicted to it raise your hand please!!).
"I chose not to choose life. I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got love?"
This is the part that I strongly disagree. Wrong. Faux. Falsch. Incorrecto.
You need reasons even when you're madly, deeply, truly in love. You need reasons to justify if this is correct, and never let your feelings do a coup d'état to your brain. Why? Because your feelings guide you, but your brain detects if there's a danger for your survival by following your feelings. They're supposed to work together. Don't let your brain take over the control of your feelings, either. They have to walk together hand-in-hand like a happy couple. The portion has to remain 50% - 50%, otherwise there'd be no balance.
Let me elaborate my arguments further.
The One up there has created every single one of us with our pair. The one who's missing. He could be anywhere out there, it's our mission to find them, for without them our life is incomplete.
On the journey to find the loved one, we might be lost, hurt, desperate, sad, unhappy, angry, disappointed, sick, feeling stupid, feeling empty, feeling crazy, falsely happy or pretending to be, we might think it's difficult, we might become exhausted, we might say that he doesn't exist, and after some failed trials we might just give up.
But have you ever thought, when you're giving up, that maybe somewhere, your lost significant other could think the same way? He's on his journey to find you, as well.
Perhaps, before we meet and get together with him, we're destined to make several wrong trials. Meeting wrong people. Meeting one or more persons that would rob our heart out and rip it to the smallest pieces, then leave us without saying anything, leave us with scattered heart parts we need to puzzle back to life. And sometimes when the pieces are too small, we think we just cannot do anything. We can't move on. And when we finally do, we're stronger than before.
There are, types of people that, not being the right persons, are very much to avoid, or to forget as soon as we get off their hooks. People who just don't deserve us. People that rob and rip your heart off and leave us, the wrong ones. People who aren't destined to be the one whom we're traveling the long journey with. People that drug our feelings and blind their senses as in love is blind, and cause this to close down our brain temporarily when it senses that danger is near.
Can we tell those people apart from the proper other candidates? Of course. We can. But we just cannot get pass them safely, for they have some sort of maleficent magnetic field around them that just sucks us to these people like the Black Hole sucks asteroids who get near it.
These people have many ways to operate. They can cheat on us (major study cases), lie to us, treat us wrong, pretend to be in love with us, leave us, break up with us, hurt us verbally or even literally, make us cry, make us whine, break our pride, make us become so low that we forget who we really are.
In normal conditions, maybe your friends and family have already warned you and tried to open your eyes. Maybe you would listen, most often you don't. Until finally a peakpoint of their nastiness surfaces, and then you finally realize who they really are. Then you'll have the courage to say that it's over.
That being said, the fact dictates that human beings tend to fall into the same hole more than once. I've said that before, somewhere. It's classical. Sometimes we just do, even when realizing that it's incorrect. Sometimes when we're in love, we become so naïve. We easily forgive, and we pretend to forget, because the ones who hurt us come back and tell us how sorry they are. How they didn't mean to hurt us. Sometimes they're true, but most often they're just a bunch of recidivists coming in and out of prisons by committing serial heart murders. And often they're more than expert of lying. They all graduate from the same school : The Institute of Lies and Hypocrisy. They operate the same way. They have the same methods. Don't let their hospitality blindfold you to the true purpose of their invitation.
This is not to judge people. This is specially written for my girlfriends who have been on the same place before. Who have been searching for love in all the wrong places.
We often believe that we're in love, that's why we don't want to lose those people, who've only done us no good. When in a relationship you become so badly afraid to lose that someone, you should ask yourself if you really love him truly, or is it because you're frightened to have to start over again with someone new. Ask yourself if it's him, and his personality that you're afraid to lose, rather than only his companion, because mankind tend to seek companion to overcome the loneliness, but then mankind forgets easily that being lonely is much better than having a bad companion. Think about these twice. Ask your heart. The only person who can provide an answer to these questions is nobody else but you.
Believe me, if someone really loves you, then he would go across the sky and sail across the seven oceans just to be with you. There are things much easier to be spoken than to be done. There are so much things in the world that you have yet to explore and will bring you to a meeting point between the roads to the right ones. There are so much reasons that love should be justified with. And there are limits to forgiveness. If people say God is merciful, God forgives even the worst sinner, well, we're not God. Oh, and in the Quran as well as in the Bible, there are some unforgivable sins still mentioned. So what's wrong with not forgiving? All you need is coming to terms with your inner peace. So if you're more peaceful by forgiving then do forgive, otherwise, it's you who decide.
I've been on the same place before. I've been searching for love in all the wrong places. I've been playing peek-a-boo with fire. I've been hurt. I've been cheated on. I've been treated wrong. I've been pretended someone was in love with me. I've been left. I've been broken. I've cried a lot. I've whined. I've had my pride broken. I've had me becoming so low that I forgot who I really was. I've forgiven and I've pretended to forget.
There were so many times, days and nights where I was asking myself if I wasn't worth to love. Maybe you also do.
People say that we can learn from experiences. I'm sharing my past for my girlfriends so they can learn and take the best of it, leaving the bad parts behind.
I know how it all feels. I know how it stabs to be torn between love and hatred. I know how difficult it is to finally come to the right decision.
I've come to the right decision and at the end of the day, the best thing comes. Hadn't I made the right decision, I wouldn't be here today.
Don't say that you're impaired. Yes, you have a pair. Don't say you're not worth to love. Yes, you are worth to love. Don't say you want to stay single forever only because one of Institute of Lies and Hypocrisy's alumni broke your heart. And finally, don't close your heart for love, because having searched for love in all the wrong places doesn't mean you'd never find it.
Maybe you're wondering why, I really like to write about love. The answer is simple. Love is the air that we breathe. Without love, your succesful life would mean nothing. Everything is nothing. Your chosen life. Your chosen job. Your chosen career. Your chosen family. Your chosen big fucking television, your chosen washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers... your chosen DIY and the fact that you still wonder who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on the couch, watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.
I came all the way across Renton's legendary phrases, sorry. But I think he got it right except the last part. I mean the last part that says :
"I chose not to choose life. I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?"
So often you say that to yourself, well, replace the word "heroin" with "love", though (Afterall love is heroin - whoever has been addicted to it raise your hand please!!).
"I chose not to choose life. I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got love?"
This is the part that I strongly disagree. Wrong. Faux. Falsch. Incorrecto.
You need reasons even when you're madly, deeply, truly in love. You need reasons to justify if this is correct, and never let your feelings do a coup d'état to your brain. Why? Because your feelings guide you, but your brain detects if there's a danger for your survival by following your feelings. They're supposed to work together. Don't let your brain take over the control of your feelings, either. They have to walk together hand-in-hand like a happy couple. The portion has to remain 50% - 50%, otherwise there'd be no balance.
Let me elaborate my arguments further.
The One up there has created every single one of us with our pair. The one who's missing. He could be anywhere out there, it's our mission to find them, for without them our life is incomplete.
On the journey to find the loved one, we might be lost, hurt, desperate, sad, unhappy, angry, disappointed, sick, feeling stupid, feeling empty, feeling crazy, falsely happy or pretending to be, we might think it's difficult, we might become exhausted, we might say that he doesn't exist, and after some failed trials we might just give up.
But have you ever thought, when you're giving up, that maybe somewhere, your lost significant other could think the same way? He's on his journey to find you, as well.
Perhaps, before we meet and get together with him, we're destined to make several wrong trials. Meeting wrong people. Meeting one or more persons that would rob our heart out and rip it to the smallest pieces, then leave us without saying anything, leave us with scattered heart parts we need to puzzle back to life. And sometimes when the pieces are too small, we think we just cannot do anything. We can't move on. And when we finally do, we're stronger than before.
There are, types of people that, not being the right persons, are very much to avoid, or to forget as soon as we get off their hooks. People who just don't deserve us. People that rob and rip your heart off and leave us, the wrong ones. People who aren't destined to be the one whom we're traveling the long journey with. People that drug our feelings and blind their senses as in love is blind, and cause this to close down our brain temporarily when it senses that danger is near.
Can we tell those people apart from the proper other candidates? Of course. We can. But we just cannot get pass them safely, for they have some sort of maleficent magnetic field around them that just sucks us to these people like the Black Hole sucks asteroids who get near it.
These people have many ways to operate. They can cheat on us (major study cases), lie to us, treat us wrong, pretend to be in love with us, leave us, break up with us, hurt us verbally or even literally, make us cry, make us whine, break our pride, make us become so low that we forget who we really are.
In normal conditions, maybe your friends and family have already warned you and tried to open your eyes. Maybe you would listen, most often you don't. Until finally a peakpoint of their nastiness surfaces, and then you finally realize who they really are. Then you'll have the courage to say that it's over.
That being said, the fact dictates that human beings tend to fall into the same hole more than once. I've said that before, somewhere. It's classical. Sometimes we just do, even when realizing that it's incorrect. Sometimes when we're in love, we become so naïve. We easily forgive, and we pretend to forget, because the ones who hurt us come back and tell us how sorry they are. How they didn't mean to hurt us. Sometimes they're true, but most often they're just a bunch of recidivists coming in and out of prisons by committing serial heart murders. And often they're more than expert of lying. They all graduate from the same school : The Institute of Lies and Hypocrisy. They operate the same way. They have the same methods. Don't let their hospitality blindfold you to the true purpose of their invitation.
This is not to judge people. This is specially written for my girlfriends who have been on the same place before. Who have been searching for love in all the wrong places.
We often believe that we're in love, that's why we don't want to lose those people, who've only done us no good. When in a relationship you become so badly afraid to lose that someone, you should ask yourself if you really love him truly, or is it because you're frightened to have to start over again with someone new. Ask yourself if it's him, and his personality that you're afraid to lose, rather than only his companion, because mankind tend to seek companion to overcome the loneliness, but then mankind forgets easily that being lonely is much better than having a bad companion. Think about these twice. Ask your heart. The only person who can provide an answer to these questions is nobody else but you.
Believe me, if someone really loves you, then he would go across the sky and sail across the seven oceans just to be with you. There are things much easier to be spoken than to be done. There are so much things in the world that you have yet to explore and will bring you to a meeting point between the roads to the right ones. There are so much reasons that love should be justified with. And there are limits to forgiveness. If people say God is merciful, God forgives even the worst sinner, well, we're not God. Oh, and in the Quran as well as in the Bible, there are some unforgivable sins still mentioned. So what's wrong with not forgiving? All you need is coming to terms with your inner peace. So if you're more peaceful by forgiving then do forgive, otherwise, it's you who decide.
I've been on the same place before. I've been searching for love in all the wrong places. I've been playing peek-a-boo with fire. I've been hurt. I've been cheated on. I've been treated wrong. I've been pretended someone was in love with me. I've been left. I've been broken. I've cried a lot. I've whined. I've had my pride broken. I've had me becoming so low that I forgot who I really was. I've forgiven and I've pretended to forget.
There were so many times, days and nights where I was asking myself if I wasn't worth to love. Maybe you also do.
People say that we can learn from experiences. I'm sharing my past for my girlfriends so they can learn and take the best of it, leaving the bad parts behind.
I know how it all feels. I know how it stabs to be torn between love and hatred. I know how difficult it is to finally come to the right decision.
I've come to the right decision and at the end of the day, the best thing comes. Hadn't I made the right decision, I wouldn't be here today.
Don't say that you're impaired. Yes, you have a pair. Don't say you're not worth to love. Yes, you are worth to love. Don't say you want to stay single forever only because one of Institute of Lies and Hypocrisy's alumni broke your heart. And finally, don't close your heart for love, because having searched for love in all the wrong places doesn't mean you'd never find it.
posted by Margarita at 1:40 PM
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